6 months...

6 months or 26 weeks or 180 days...doesn't really matter how you count the time. 

It has been a long, hard road and we still have a ways to go...

I think we are getting a little bit stronger every day. I know that it's like a dance some days...you take a step forward and then sometimes- you take two steps back.

I think today may be one of those days. I am not going to fight it, I am acknowledging it and allowing myself to do whatever I feel.

 I sat in the rain this morning for almost an hour...I cried. It was good to get it out.

I laid on my bed, closed my eyes and pictured myself lying right next to his grave, instead of being 2,000 miles away.

 I have tried so very hard to count my my blessings each and every day, to be grateful and look around at all that I have...and it leads/ties into thoughts and memories of him...he helped pave my way in so, so many ways. I am truly grateful for that...truly grateful.

I see him in my all three of my babies eyes, I see him in the trees, the sky, the stars and FEEL him in the breeze...

 I FEEL him saying- Why cry for a soul set free? When you are lonely and sick of heart, don't lose sight of who you are...go to the friends and loved one's we know. Bury your sorrows in good things and kind deeds...miss me a little--but not too long and not with your head bowed down low.

Miss me, but let me go...

I promise with all I have that I am getting there Pops, I am getting there-

 Dad was special, something amazing, something strong to many, many people. I know that he will NEVER be forgotten. He was a Son, Brother, Friend, Soldier, Hero, Father, Uncle, Cousin and Grandfather. He is still all of these things and so much more...he is now an angel and a protector. I have NO DOUBTS that he is watching over all of us...every single one of us...

 I am so thankful for all the amazing times we shared and for all of the memories we have. I am so crushed and heartbroken that he is not here in a physical, tangible sense. I cry that my kids want to hug his neck just one more time and that they didn't get more time with him...he was SO AMAZING with them. The bond he made with them is just amazing. I am so crushed that he will not get to hold his grandson that's due in September...the grandson that will carry on the GRIFFIS name that we are all so proud to have. I know that little John McKenzie Griffis will know all about his Grandpa Griffis, but it still weighs heavy on my heart.

I have faith and very much realize that things will get easier with time...

I am constantly reminding myself this. 

I reassure the kids of this as well. This is still very difficult for them. 

They too, carry him in their hearts always.

Yes, I think I am taking two steps back for the day...but it's OK.

I will take a step forward tomorrow...

Thanks Dad for all the love, the laughs, the hard times, the life lessons, the hugs and encouragement, your never-ending devotion and the countless memories.

I have always been and always will be- your 'lil girl.

~ Laura Lynn ~