Still Feel Lost at Times...

WoW...we have been busy. My posts have been pretty lame. Not a lot of writing or thoughts jotted down- just pictures up-loaded in a hurry with hardly any explanations. Oh well, guess our lives have been a bit busy lately. I just try to keep up, keep my spirit up and keep moving forward. I am certain Pat feels the same way. The kids are doing well. I am truly blessed to have them...they keep me going for sure. I am usually so excited about this time of the year. Thanksgiving is almost here and we have lots of birthdays and Christmas right around the corner! I am somehow just really lost this year...I am trying so hard to "get it all together", get organized, decorate the house, breathe and enjoy the excitement of the kids and family and friends, do some Christmas shopping....UGH- I just don't have it this year.

The void, the hole, the heartache...it's heavy, hard to carry, hard to fight. Dad will be gone 1 year on Thanksgiving Day. 1 year...how? Really how is this possible? Our lives have not been the same since that horrible day we got the call...I know our lives will NEVER be the same. I miss him more than I can describe or find words...so do the kids. I think I was hoping that once we hit the 1 year mark, it wouldn't hurt so bad...or something a long that line. It still hurts like hell. I hate every part of it. I also hate that it falls on Thanksgiving Day! Just plain sucks...I can't be anymore honest or blunt about it. We have Pat's birthday, Griff's birthday, the 1 year mark of losing Pat's dad, Christmas, Mac's birthday, New Year's and even my birthday and lots of other family birthdays and sadly 1 year marks of others that we loved and lost. Yikes...it's a bit overwhelming. I know we will all be fine...I am just venting.

I seem to feel better, cope better after I jot down my thoughts. It seems to help all of us. I try to constantly remind myself of all the things I have to be Thankful for. I have many...many...and don't want to take them for granted, ever. 

So, I will close with this-

I miss you Dad...really miss you. When I close my eyes, I see you...see your smile and hear your laugh, no matter where I am. I pull out your old shirt and can still smell you....I feel like I am with you sometimes. We will be thinking of you on Thanksgiving and do all we can to have a good day and send you happy wishes.

Love you always- Laura Lynn